Drop and Fluff

Drop and fluff. That’s what is supposed to happen to my implants. But it hasn’t yet. Still waiting and hoping. Basically, if the capsule forms firmly, and the implants don’t “drop and fluff”, the nipples always appear to be lower than desirable and the fullness of the implants stays at the top. This creates a less than natural look. One side has dropped some, so the two sides aren’t symmetrical, but I think I’ve decided I don’t want another surgery. I will deal with my imperfections and be grateful that breast cancer will likely not be part of my future.

I’m getting more used to the numbness. I still don’t like it, but it doesn’t feel quite as foreign as before. A new thing that bothers me is the visibility of my muscles, directly under the skin. As I’ve started working out again, I’ve noticed it a lot. Anytime I use my chest muscles, the flexing is so apparent and makes my chest look super strange and misshapen. That’s because the implants are under the muscle, lifting the muscle to the skin surface. Obviously, with clothes on, it’s not a big deal. It’s just another reminder that things aren’t as they once were.

I still have a bit of pain, but it’s totally manageable. The left incision bothers me sometimes, as well as down the center of my sternum and the sides of my chest, almost to my armpits. Hopefully it will disappear completely with time, but some women say it can last forever. Thank heavens the pain is minimal. I have my follow up appointment in one month.

Fireplace

We got our stove/fireplace installed in our basement! We’ve been waiting for this and are absolutely loving it! We also got a comfy sectional, with plenty of room for the whole family.

I feel like the size of our home has expanded, because I now want to go sit in the basement. It’s so warm and cozy! Great for watching movies or reading books. It’s the simple things in life. 

Picnic

We loved picnicking this summer/fall. My mother in law gave us this cute picnic basket when we first got married, and it somehow makes picnics more fun. We’ve been finding new hikes and trying to take better advantage of all the hills/mountains surrounding us. We even took card games up Mueller Canyon the other day. It was awesome to play together on a picnic table, rather than the living room floor. Utah is THE best!

Put the Garden to Bed

Winter is just around the corner. So, it was time to dig up our garden beds. It was kind of sad! We put so much effort into getting them up and running this summer. We really enjoyed gardening and learned a lot. Our basil did amazing, so we thought we would transplant it to a pot, and move it indoors. So far so good! It’s been a few weeks, and it’s still kicking. It doesn’t look quite as healthy as it did outdoors, but better than throwing it out altogether. It was great to have fresh basil in our pasta last night, in November. A treat for sure 😁 I also dried the rest of the thyme and oregano.

Kintsugi

I love this. A friend recently told me about Kintsugi. “Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with powdered gold. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.” –Wikipedia

I want to see myself, and others, this way. Like can be rough. We won’t make it through without cracking, breaking, falling, etc. But, as we teach our kids, the important part is to keep getting up and trying again. All is not lost if we make mistakes. Even big ones. We can be repaired, with the help of God, and come out even more beautiful than before. And, hiding the fact that we’ve been broken, doesn’t usually serve us well. The bumps in the road can add to the beauty of our soul, if we let it.

Pizza Rolls

We loved these pizza rolls! I rolled pizza dough into a rectangle. Next, put on the pizza sauce (light layer), pepperoni, basil, and grated mozzarella. Then, roll the dough up, just like when you make cinnamon rolls. Cut the roll into 1 1/2" slices and put on a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 400 degrees till slightly brown and baked through. Serve with extra pizza sauce for dipping :)

Parfait

Yogurt parfait for breakfast :) Plain and vanilla yogurt mix, chia seeds, strawberries, bananas, and pumpkin seed granola. 

Each One

This is truth! We each have different roles to fulfill in this life. But none are more important than another. If we can find the purpose and value in what we do each day, and not compare it to others, we can find joy. No ones purpose is better or worse, just different. 

Winter!

2 week post op

I had my two week follow up appointment with Dr. Chen yesterday. Overall, we're happy with the results and my progress. No signs of infection. The incisions looks good and are healing well. My pain is decreasing. I'm more comfortable with the silicone implants than I was with the tissue expanders.  This is all really good!

One side (I don't feel like I can say one "breast". They aren't breasts.) is a bit higher than the other. It's not extreme, just slight. The volume from the implant is sitting higher in the capsule. This changes the position and angle of the nipple, as well. Dr said that with time, the implant could drop down. But, to help things along, I have to massage/push the upper area to try to stretch the interior capsule and encourage the implant to drop. This doesn't always work. She wants to see me back the first of December. If they still aren't even, and the higher side hasn't dropped, we will consider revision surgery. The thought of having another surgery makes me sick to my stomach. I'm really hoping it's not necessary.

In the mean time, I don't have to wear the surgical compression vest anymore. Yippee! I went bra shopping and was able to wear a normal bra for the first time in 5 months! It was a good day. Although I do have more incision pain in a normal bra. It doesn't hold me in as securely. 

I am supposed to sleep on my back for the next 3 months. That might just kill me. She doesn't want pressure on the implants, as the capsule is forming/healing. I've been trying out this side lying position, where I put a pillow behind my back and lay back against it. It's sort of like sleeping somewhere between my side and back. It kind of helps. I'm also supposed to keep wearing a supportive sports bra at night. To keep everything where it's meant to be. After 3 months, she says things are pretty much healed, and won't be as likely to shift. 

So that's that! We will massage the heck out of this implant (she says the pressure will not damage the implant), and hope for no surgery at Christmas!